The Doxology -- Week #2

If you know me very well, you know I do not give God the necessary praise, glory, and honor with my words when he blesses me. I tend to focus on how the blessing is really not a blessing at all or on how I was the one who obtained the blessing. Just as Ray Lamontagne says in his song Empty, "I never learned to count my blessings / I choose instead to dwell in my disasters."

Part of this stems, I believe, from the way that God created me. For some reason, he gave me a melancholy, reflective, introspective spirit. As with all things, this nature of mine blesses and curses. For the most part, though, I seem to reflect the negative aspects of the melancholy much more than the positive.

But as I think about my time here in Clarkston, I think of the Doxology:

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him, all creatures here below,
Praise Him, above ye heavenly host,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,
Amen.

God is doing amazing things through Friends of Refugees. I know, I know, that sounds very cliche and vague, but I struggle to describe it any other way.

I came into the summer worried about the academic portion of camp. I had it in my mind that the kids would not want to read, write, and do math because I know if I was in their shoes, I wouldn't. I assumed I would encounter kids who lacked any semblance of intellectual ability. You know what they say about those who assume...

God continues to open my eyes to the talents of these Refugee children. This week, we took the middle school campers to Stone Mountain thanks to a friend's suggestion. At the time, my heart was heavy (might write about that soon) and I really did not want to take them to the church to work on academics or play games with them.

I took with me some paper, water colors and pastels, and books up to the top of the mountain. I really felt like the kids would ignore the tools beacuse of the many distractions at the summit. But instead, they spent a good hour either painting, reading, or enjoying the beautiful lake view. They not only conquered the hike (a few dramatic ones thought they were going to die), but they also rested and reflected upon the glories of Nature.

Oh, how I wanted to share with them Romans 1! Oh, how I wanted to share with them that in their love of creating, via the form of art, how they bear God's image in doing so! But God is good and their hearts and lives are in his hands.

I pray (will you pray with me?) that the volunteer groups who continue to help us keep accentuating the talents of our kids. There is one Thai camper, Yodcha, who played the cool card the first week of camp when academics time rolled around. Now, he rushes through his reading and writing activities and grabs a pencil and paper in order to draw. And you know what, the pictures are incredible. Why does he do that? Because lovers of Christ pour love upon his talents. He might never recieve this kind of affirmation, if any at all.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,...
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Emotions and God's Will

For some reason, I always rush to conclusions and interpretations about God’s work within me. I glean recently planted fields even though they still need to bear its fruit! With that, take my posts with a grain salt because I know his work is incomplete and far from finished.

As I think about my time here in Clarkston, the word “trust” keeps appearing in the forefront of my consciousness. Its manifestation is not based on a single blanket understanding of the word but instead, different streams of it materialize and flow forth. Right now, I’m only going to focus on one of the streams…

I am an emotional person. A lot of times, I allow my feelings to take me in one direction when my reason might tug in the opposite direction. This stems from my extremist personality where I take an extreme point of view contrary to my previous extreme point of view because of the scars the former leaves. Internally (sometimes reflected externally, as well), my heart wallows in perpetual emotional turmoil as I wrestle to find some type of validation for my new extremist ideal. Because of this, I allow my feelings to dictate my understanding of God’s will for my life, instead of Scripture’s truths. I end up trusting in my own interpretation of some whimsical feeling within me without knowing if the feeling originated in truth.

Since I have been in Georgia, it seems like God has removed this paralyzing emotional aspect from my life…and I’m not sure I like it. I want to feel a penetrating pain deep within my soul for the hurting in Clarkston. I want to experience a love for those I work with and those I serve. I long to be an existential Christian like I have always been! But from what very little I have gleaned from this young harvest, God has shut the door on that.

Why would he do that? Doesn’t God want me to feel and to experience and to long? Of course! but not when those graces take the place of the Father himself. God seems to be challenging me to trust in the truth of his glorious nature. If I my emotions control me here in Clarkston, I will extend love only to those who conjure up some positive emotional feeling within me (And trust me, some of these kids will not always bring out the warm and fuzzies). By stripping away my emotionality, I must apply my knowledge of love (love is not a feeling, but a choice/act of the will) to all that I meet.

When Satan tempts Jesus in the desert in Matthew 4, Satan tries to bend Jesus’ will toward his own:

“After he fasted forty days and forty nights he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become bread’…Then the devil took him to the holy city, had him stand on the highest point of the temple, and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down’…Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their grandeur. And he said to him, ‘I will give you all these things if you throw yourself to the ground and worship me.’”

In each instance, Satan attacks areas in which man’s feelings could cause him to stray – specifically hunger, leadership, and power. Because Jesus was grounded in truth, you know, since he is truth and all, he combated Satan’s emotional attacks with Scripture. Jesus, being fully human, suppressed his natural inclinations to satisfy those desires and turned to the Word.

Jesus represents the perfect example of applying the truth he knows and actualizing it. Instead of relying on inner feelings to dictate his actions, he relies on the only truth we know for sure to be true, Scripture.

Even though my feelings seem to be dormant in this season of life, Scripture is there to replace them. This substitution is exponentially greater -- I just need to trust God that it is. Actually, I must trust this because it is all I truly can trust. If I don’t, I end up only trusting my own interpretations of my feelings and up until this point, those interpretations can be pretty jacked up.

(Ironically, and maybe tragically depending on how you look at it, by analyzing the lack emotions in my life, I therefore am doing exactly what I do when emotions control my decision making. God, I pray you give me the desire to seek your truth in prayer and Scripture. Help me find truth in you and you alone, whether I am emotional or not. Thank you for continuing to love me and use me!)

First Week of Camp

So, the first week of camp has come and gone. Last year during my two week stay in Clarkston, the 3^rd and 4^th graders I worked with almost gave me an aneurism. But so far, the kids have been angels compared to what I witnessed last year. For the most part, they have been respectful to the leaders and to each other. It has been incredible. The only incident I know of involves one boy who has already been in two fights. He received a 2 day suspension from camp. We hope and pray that the suspension helps him realize his potential to do what is good and right.

Also, the academic portion of camp that I lead for the middle school has gone off with almost no hitches. The majority of the campers seem engaged and interested in their work. I’m sure it won’t be this easy from here on out, but it was nice to have the first week run smoothly on so many different levels.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. Hopefully I will be able to obtain some camp pictures from friends and share them with you.

-Justin

Converts vs. Disciples

During orientation week, Scott Kelley, the Director of Friends of Refugees, stated the organizations mission as this: "To make disciples, not converts."

Jesus, in Matthew 28, gives his followers the same mission, to "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

The Evangelical mission clings to these words of Jesus. But the Great Commission is often read and interpreted, interestingly enough, this way: "Therefore go and make converts of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit..."

Has the church been misinterpreting the Great Commission? Is there a fundamental difference between a "convert" and a "disciple" or is it just a semantics issue?

In my short life, two authors have shaped and molded me as a Christian: C.S. Lewis and Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer addresses this question in his book "The Cost of Discipleship", a book every Christian needs to read this book at some point in his/her life.

In the book, Bonhoeffer makes a distinction between two ideas of grace that manifests itself in the heart of the church: cheap grace and costly grace. Here is what Bonhoeffer says about each:

"Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner...Cheap grace is not the kind of forgiveness of sin which frees us from the toils of sin. Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves...Cheap grace is the grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate...for cheap grace [is] the bitterest foe of discipleship, which true discipleship must loathe and detest."

"Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him...It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life."

Bonhoeffer goes on further to state that the Evangelical church of his time (Early 20th century) propagates the notion of cheap grace: "[They] poured forth unending streams of grace. But the call to follow Jesus in the narrow way was hardly ever heard." The church seemed to misconstrue Jesus' Great Commission. They focused on the "baptizing" part of the commission while skipping over the discipleship part.

I believe some members of the body still promulgate cheap grace, a grace void of discipleship. These members of the body replace conversion with discipleship. It almost becomes a competition, "How many can we save this week? On this mission trip? How many can we baptize? How many can we get to rededicate their lives to Christ?" If you take the Apostles as an example, they were under Jesus' watchful hand for 3 years. We do not know the exact moment the Apostles were justified in their faith. It could have been when they immediately dropped their nets to follow Jesus. It might have happened when they finally recognized and truly believed that Jesus was the Christ. But what we do know is that through their relationship with Jesus, they were being discipled so that they could go and do the same for others around the world. They experienced the essence of costly grace.

I'm thankful to be apart of an organization this summer whose goal is not to proselytize to the refugees. Instead, they build relationships through the love of Christ for the purposes of "making disciples." The discipleship process takes time. It is messy and even unsuccessful sometimes. But for all the Judas', a Peter takes root to share the beauty of Christ -- the giver and sustainer of costly grace.

First Week in Clarkston, GA

Ah...the orientation week before camp starts. Lots of little details that no one wants to read about. So, here were some of the highlights/low-lights of the week:

• Registering campers -- The only way to effectively register kids for camp is to drive to their apartment complex or house and watch them fill out the forms. We spent a good 6 hours and only registered 15 or so campers. It was a great experience interacting with the refugee families in their homes and reconnecting with last years campers.
• Un-registering campers -- This year, the camp is only for Clarkston residents when in the past it included kids from surrounding towns. This changed in order to meet the Clarkston kids. So, I had to call a few families and inform them that their kids could not come to summer camp.
  
• Academic preparation -- Slowly, but surely, the Middle School academic portion of camp has taken shape. I feel like I might be a little bit over my head with what I am trying to accomplish, but the potential fruit far outweighs the risk.
• I'm pretty sure the definition of orientation means the excelaration of ones desire to accomplish the task that lies ahead.